Deploying

Well, I've never written one of these before, so I decided to try it out. The day's are getting short now....the countdown is officially on. It's still not real. It still feels like I'm only telling people that I'm getting ready to deploy but that I'm really not doing so, like an elaborate story. Telling people and saying goodbye should by all rights make it more real, but I have this sort of twisted view on it, Telling people will make it go away... So much for wishful thinking. It's not that I don't want to serve my country, or make my family and friends proud, or to give my kids a real role model and someone to look up to. I love wearing this uniform, I feel as if I've always been destined to put it on. The truth of it all is that I'm nervous. I'm nervous about doing my job and doing it right. I've always been my own worst critic. I hate having to miss out on a year of my children lives. I'm nervous that something stupid will happen and I won't come back to them the same mama, or worse not at all. I'm asking all of my friends and family that know the personal struggles I have gone through, everything I have overcome to get to this point to simply pray....pray for my family, pray for my unit, and pray for me. I am a soldier and honored to do my part and honored to wear this uniform. Now smile and think of something funny.